Night of the Robot Babysitter

by Daniel Errico

Every time my parents go out, they leave me with my babysitter.

I told them, “I can watch myself!”. But they disagreed.

I don’t like being babysat.

Sometimes I wear my alien costume and scare her.

I like to build a wall of blocks in front of the bathroom door when she’s inside.

One time I chewed gum and put it inside my babysitter’s bag. I would have gotten away with it but my parents said that I had, “gum breath.”

I never go to bed when my babysitter tells me to.

I once took two hours to brush my teeth before bed, just so I could stay up later.

My breath didn’t smell like gum that night.

Then one time, my parents told me that they’d found me a new babysitter.

“You’ll listen to this babysitter,” they said. “We’re sure of it.”

I didn’t know what they meant, but then they opened the door and I saw that the babysitter was a ROBOT!!

“Goodnight,” they said, and shut the door.

CLINK CLANK CLUNK. The robot came walking over to me.

“I AM ROBOSITTER,” it said in a robot voice. “I AM YOUR BABYSITTER.”

“I don’t have to listen to a robot!” I said.

“IF YOU DO NOT LISTEN, ROBOSITTER WILL USE ITS LASERS,” it said.

I was pretty sure Robositter was bluffing, but I didn’t want to find out.

We sat down and played a board game, and I always cheated when I played board games.

But Robositter knew everything I was doing!

“ROBOSITTER SAW YOU TAKE AN EXTRA CARD.”

“ROBOSITTER COUNTED FOUR SPACES, NOT THREE.”

“ROBOSITTER SEES YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES.”

It was impossible to cheat.

When it was time for dinner, Robositter made me robot macaroni. It was crunchy but good.

“My Mom always lets me have ice cream for dessert,” I said.

“WARNING: LIE DETECTED BY ROBOSITTER.”

Instead, I got a healthy piece of mech-ani-cake instead.”

Robositter didn’t use bathrooms or carry a bag so I had to try and scare it with my alien costume. That was a bad idea.

“ALIEN TRESPASSER, ROBOSITTER MUST DESTROY!”

I took the costume off and explained that it was me just in time.

When it was time for bed, Robositter read me a story.

Robositter was good at reading, but not so great at the voices.

I looked outside and saw that Robositter had the same car as my regular babysitter, which I found strange.

I was planning on staying up and playing games in my room the second I was alone, but Robositter had other plans.

“HAVE A RESTFUL RECHARGE. ROBOSITTER WILL MONITOR YOUR SLEEP STATUS REMOTELY.”

I couldn’t even stay up, and had to go to bed early!

The next morning I was very well rested.

My parents told me that Robositter reported that I was on my best behavior.

Maybe I could get used to Robot macaroni…